Taking a Mental Health Day When You’ve Reached Your Limit

Last Thursday morning, I was in the red. By the time my kids left for school, I was really struggling.

I was feeling stressed about where my career is going and what direction I should be moving in. I worried about all the work I had to do and people I could potentially let down (especially my family).

I was feeling guilty that this stress caused me to be short with my kids and wife that morning, knowing they didn’t deserve my bad mood.

Intrusive thoughts were taking over.

Failure to reset

On the days that I don’t wake up in a good mood, one of the surest ways to cheer me up is my morning workout.

I know it’s cliché, but getting some morning exercise really is a mood booster that can help reset your mindset. Black cloud in tow, I went to the gym once my kids were out the door.

It didn’t work.

What do I do now?

As I left the gym, physically feeling great but still mentally struggling, I wasn’t sure what to do. Push through it? I’ve written before about positive triggers to kickstart your day.

But I was deep in the red, not in a borderline yellow state.

Then I thought of my brother-in-law’s recent post on LinkedIn about when to take a sick day. I wasn’t physically sick, but I needed a day.

Taking a mental health day

Deep in the irrational red, I knew there were no “tricks” that could help me. I needed to process some of this, and give myself some space to rest/relax mentally.

Step 1 – Create space

With intrusive thoughts taking center stage, you need something that will occupy your focus so much that it pushes them out. Back in the day, bowling was my escape.

On Thursday I opted for a classic video game: Super Metroid.

As one of my all-time favorite games, it provides a level of comfort. As a game with secret passages, and maps to navigate, and challenging fights, it forces itself into my consciousness, leaving no room for other thoughts.

It created the space I needed to separate the feelings I was having from the unwanted thoughts.

Step 2 – Process

I still needed to process what was going on. Hiding from the negative thoughts wasn’t going to make them go away.

So I journaled for a little while.

I don’t journal every day as part of a routine. I’m more of a believer in journaling when I’m inspired or feel the need to have a private conversation with myself. Getting things out on the page helps organize the thoughts and respond to them, not spiral with them.

For some, journaling is a valuable part of their daily routine. For myself, it’s a tool that I use when I need it.

However you choose to process, it’s not a step you can skip.

Step 3 – Exercise

Yeah, I already exercised and it didn’t work, remember?

That was before I’d given myself space or processed anything. I went straight to the gym after my kids left, still angry at the world.

Once I’d separated myself from the feelings, and processed them, it was time to get physical again. I’d already worked out so I went for a walk.

It’s another cliché but walks without distraction are great for the soul.

Step 4 – Recovery

Feeling a lot better after the walk, I was tempted to dive into work for the second half of the day.

As a writer and coach, my work is knowledge-based. As a solopreneur, I’m also entirely responsible for, well, everything. I’m much more likely to push myself to my mental/emotional/creative limits that I am to be testing my physical ones.

That said, your brain and muscles have a similar need for rest and recovery when faced with stress. Muscles get bigger by recovering after a workout.

Your mind can learn to handle heavier loads of stress but only if you give it cycles of stress and recovery. Constant stress just creates burnout.

Despite the urge to get back to work, I committed to a full day of recovery.

Mental reset process

It’s not lazy to take the time you need, but it needs to be more than an avoidance strategy.

• Create space. Do something to take your mind off things for a little while so you can come back to them in a calmer state.
• Process the emotions. Come back to the thoughts / emotions and sit with them. Avoiding them only guarantees that they come back.
• Exercise and Recover. Prioritize recovery so you can fully recharge your mental batteries. This can still be physically active, but do something just for your own enjoyment.