The Stories We Tell: Creating Limitations or Unlocking Potential?

I was listening to an interview recently featuring Dr. Srini Pillay, a psychiatrist and brain researcher. In it, he discussed the Default Mode Network of the brain, which is essentially the active part of the brain when we aren’t doing focused work.

This wasn’t my first time hearing about it, as it is a key piece of research that underlies Alex Soojung Kim Pang’s “Rest” – one of my favourite books. But what struck me was his idea of what he calls ‘Halloweenism’ as a means to spark creativity.

What is “Halloweenism?”

This term is essentially a form of mental cosplay – with benefits. Research has shown that when people pretend to have certain occupations, it can trigger more or less creativity.

In the example, Dr. Pillay described how subjects who pretended to be an artist for a short period of time would demonstrate more creative thinking than someone who pretended to be a librarian – an occupation generally thought of as very ordered and a bit stuffy.

The power of our stories

As a coach who often deals with mindset and mental preparation for competition, there’s a reason this stuck out to me.

I’ve talked to plenty of people in the past about the power of the stories we tell ourselves, whether intentionally or not, and how they affect our potential.

The stories we imagine

The brain has a hard time knowing the difference between what’s real or imagined. It’s why dreams can make you mad or scared even when you know they aren’t real. The physiological response is the same.

When you visualize yourself overcoming a challenge, it makes facing the real challenge easier because your brain thinks you’ve done it before. This sort of imagery is often used by athletes to rehearse and prepare for competition.

This applies to the stories we tell ourselves as well.

By telling yourself the story that you are creative, even if you do it temporarily or as part of a game, you can allow yourself better access the creative part of your brain.

Let’s talk limitations

The important thing here is not just to understand the positive, purposeful story, or the benefits of imagined role play. We also want to consider how our stories can hold us back.

Even the stories that we consider positive can be limiting because of unspoken conditions. But let’s start with the obvious…

The negative story

I’ll use myself as an example here. I’ve often questioned my own ability to be creative. Never mind that I’ve written two books and hundreds of articles, built dozens of custom Lego models, or that I can make up songs for my kids at the drop of a hat.

I’ve often told myself that I’m not creative because I struggle with pursuits like drawing or painting.

(Mostly because I’ve never spent any time actually developing these skills, but let’s not get too bogged down with facts, shall we?)

Because of this belief system, I’m more easily frustrated when faced with any creative pursuit that isn’t going well. Logically, I know it makes no sense. Emotionally, I’ve had to work hard at changing this perception of myself.

The conditional story

This one is trickier. This one sounds positive but it might not be. Here’s an example:

“I am / want to be the best at X in my area.”

Sounds positive, right? Unless your area just happens to produce the best X-ers in the world, you’re putting limits on yourself. What happens when you leave that area? Are you still the best, or any good at all?

“I’m an inside sales specialist!”

This is also positive, but what happens when considering something outside of sales? What if you’re promoted to a management position overseeing your old team? Suddenly – even if you have the skills – your self-perception immediately sees you as an impostor.

You’re left fighting this perception while adjusting to the new role.

Whenever you tell yourself a positive story that puts you into a pond, you’re immediately limited to being the biggest fish in that pond. Sometimes we put ourselves in really little ponds without meaning to, which robs us of our potential.

Make room for more

To put this together, the human brain is incredible. Even temporary stories we tell can have an impact on how we think. The good, the bad, the conditional and the imagined.

When you make room to open yourself up to possibilities through the stories you tell (even if they’re pretend), your brain gets to be more creative, solve more problems, and connect the dots between a variety of sources.

What stories do you tell yourself? Hopefully they’re good ones.